I definitely had a little crush on him and even told him, which made him stutter and was super cute. Shame that was the peak of the whole experience.
I met him twice, and it was a disaster both times. The first time we met halfway – because we live 200 miles apart – and he’d been texting me jokey things on the train right up until the moment he appeared in front of me, at which point he froze and stayed that way all day. I thought he didn’t like me, but apparently that wasn’t it.
I couldn’t wait to get home, and after a polite few hours I left, breathing a full‑body sigh of relief the second I drove away.
And then – magically – the banter was back on. I stopped at a service station for a loo break, checked my phone, and there he was: hilarious again. I thought; how odd. Maybe he’s one of those people with a completely different online persona who crumbles in real life.
Still, I thought I’d give it another shot. Big mistake. The second meet‑up was even worse. His clothes smelt of damp – not “I got caught in the rain” damp, but “I store my wardrobe in a cave” damp. He could barely string a sentence together, and I became suspicious of his teeth because I couldn’t see any. He has one of those mouths that never bares gnashers, but I eventually caught a glimpse of a tooth that I didn’t like the look of, and I also thought I saw one missing. So I asked him. Oh gawd, he had two missing teeth. At that point I felt like I was on a date with a Victorian chimney sweeper. I know it sounds shallow – maybe if he had been as I knew him to be, it wouldn’t have mattered so much, but the personality was so different to the point of being slightly creepy, therefore the negatives were piling up.
And then there was the tightness with money. He didn’t even buy me a coffee – I bought us three each. Was he so frozen that his hand couldn’t find its way into his wallet?
After the second meet‑up, I dumped him as a potential boyfriend and we stayed friends. He was really upset, and – being the way I am – I was missing the attention. After years of not having any relationships – romantic or otherwise – I loved having a buddy that I felt needed me. This neediness made my self monitoring and nervousness lessen and it was so good having someone in my life.
He told me he gets nervous going to new places, so the third visit was going to be me travelling up to see him. In the meantime, we kept chatting, but he was just incapable of organising his life. I tried to help, but it became a full‑time job. Plus, he seemed a bit unstable whenever he thought he was losing me and I didn’t feel safe going to visit him.
What if he turned on me? He knew I had no one else in my life and that no one would miss me. Granted I do read a lot of true crime books, but you never know do you?
I knew I was hanging in there because without him I’d be completely alone again with my AvPD, but I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
And then – thankfully I think – we had a big argument one time and my last message to him was, “Bye. Good luck”. And then I blocked him.