This AvPD blog is for anyone who has Avoidant Personality Disorder or recognises traits of it in themselves — whether you’ve got a formal diagnosis or just suspect something’s up.
I’m not exactly a youngster – I was born in 1965 – and I live in the UK with my two beautiful rescue cats. Like many of you reading this, I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit Googling things like, “Why can’t I let anyone get close to me?” and “Why am I so nervous around people?”
Personally, I was “diagnosed” with traits of AvPD during a one-hour phone call with a psychiatrist in 2023. I have added the brackets because I’m not too sure that an hour on the phone is enough to diagnose anyone.
There’s a ton of clinical info out there, but this blog isn’t about that. It’s about the real-life stuff: what it actually feels like to live with this thing. I’ll be sharing examples from my own life — awkward, painful, and occasionally ridiculous — because I think hearing someone else say, “Yeah, me too,” can make people feel less alone.
I’m in a fairly rare position – I don’t have anyone in my life. No next of kin, no emergency contact, not even a friend I can text about how weird that one cashier was. I’ve tried looking for others like me in forums and support groups, but I usually find people who at least have someone.
It’s not that they feel less lonely than me though, because as people know, that gnawing, wretched loneliness can strike even when you are surrounded by people.
But this AvPD blog is also a bit of a message in a bottle to see who else is floating around out there with zero human connections.
That said, I actually enjoy being alone most of the time. Books, films, solo hobbies – all without the judgment or interruptions of other people’s opinions or small talk. But this isolation can come with gut wrenching challenges. Many of us want to connect – we just can’t do it without triggering that deep fear of rejection or humiliation.
So, why this AvPD blog?
I want to know if there are others like me who are truly solo.
I hope to describe, in detail, the ways AvPD affects daily life – especially the weird coping mechanisms – so others don’t feel as alone.
Maybe (just maybe) if there are enough fellow loners out there, I can help connect you to one another – even if it’s just by region or a shared “yep, I do that too” moment.
So if you’re here, welcome. You’re not alone in being alone. And if you are alone-alone? You’re exactly who this AvPD blog is for.
